Twas the night before riding

Twas the night before riding and scattered through the room my maps and my camping gear were all cleaned and rolled tight.  The bags were all hung from the bike racks with care in hopes of dry weather and winds from the rear.  I inspected them all closely and then I sat down to a big carb load of goodies. 

I am ready to hit the road in the morning now.  My bike is ready and my gear is ready with the electronics all charged and everything clean and dry.  My body however is not doing so well.  I know I am crazy to go on the road feeling as poorly as I do but damn it I am going to live my life despite my body until I finally just drop dead.  My pain is high and my mobility is low.  I feel like I will be able to ride but if I break down there is no way I could walk to save myself.  I might make it a hundred feet on foot if I am lucky.  I am leaving anyway. 

Last year I was in such poor shape when I left that I had to load myself up with narcotics to be able to move at all.  This year I am better off than that but still feel like crap.  I am no longer using narcotics and I account that to the strength I gained on last year's ride.  I am actually hoping that after this year's ride I will improve even more.  I know it sounds strange to logical thinking people to hear me say I am all messed up but an leaving on a ridiculously arduous 8000 mile bike ride but I need this challenge to give my life some validity and a goal to reach for.  I very easily may not complete the ride as planned but that is not important to me.  The important thing for me is to try and get out there and push myself hard.  To work on my determination and focus so that I am better able to conquer my chronic pain demons which is my main goal.  If somewhere along the route I am stopped by something or other than so be it.  The only losing path is to just sit here and suffer until I off myself in despair.  Leaving and not getting all the way won't break my spirit.  I will just start again at a later date. 

Tomorrow I will try to get to Bodega Bay.  It is only about a 60 mile ride mostly along the cliffs of the Pacific coast.  I will ride through big trees and farmland.  I look forward to my ride through Point Reyes Park.  Nature should be all around me and I love that.  I could see whales along the coast.  Hopefully traffic will not be heavy.  I will be happy when I get far enough away from the Bay Area that traffic gets lighter and the riding will be safer.  The weather starting out will be warm with a 20 mph headwind slowing me down but I should still make it.  I have my friend meeting me in Bodega Bay where we plan on camping at the state park.  She is going to carry some of my gear so my bike will be lighter than usual which is a nice way to get started back on the road.  I will post some pics and a record of my day here when I get access to the net.  I will also post the Garmin link to my route with daily stats included. 

Enjoy life.